Who am I? I am the old April I use to be. I’m am happy again. Sure not having a job is part of that right now but i’m looking forward to my future once again! Mike and I have always talked about retirement and he really wanted me to stay at my old job because then we could retire early. I was miserable there. I hated every second I was there and it showed in the person I had become. I never had the guts to quit or make a move because I didn’t want to disappoint his dreams. I knew that my job was on the line and asked that people pray for me and things would be okay. In my mind the okay thing was that my job would remain and that I would continue my robot like schedule. God works in mysterious ways and all the prayers worked but not how I had envisioned. I would have never quit, he eliminated my position, I never knew what I wanted to do in life, he opened my eyes to the behind the scenes medical field that I never knew existed. I feel like a new woman! I’ve even started putting on makeup and fixing my hair!
I use to think I was unhappy because of my weight. That was SO not the case. After losing 20 lbs and competing and having my dreambody I was still unhappy. I think I was almost in depression and now I feel like a weight has been lifted. I am back to happy go lucky April once again! My glass is half full and people don’t get on my nerves as much anymore. I even went to Target at noon yesterday when the parking lot was full LOL!
Since i’ve been doing alot of soul searching I have realized how important my family and friends are to me. This past week i’ve seen every member of my family and it has been terrific! I even went and did aerobics with my mom last night which is something I would have never done before because I felt like I didn’t have the time. My focus was to get my 8 hours over with and then home to workout. After that I never felt like leaving the house again.
All this brings me to my definition in the dictionary. As much as I LOVE being in figure competitions that does not define me. I don’t want my definition to be the girl who was in figure competitions, lived her robotic life, never socialized and obsessed with her weight.
Here is what I want:
April Jones-the girl who’s smile lights up the room, who is pleasant to be around, who loves health and fitness, and who obsesses about her weight.(some things you just can’t change)