50 days baby!
Woohoo! 50 more days and i’m gonna have the time of my life!!….besides marriage 🙂 Just in case the hubs reads this someday. I’m so excited about this next show! I’ve done a good job at maintaining my weight and that makes me happy, happy, happy! This week my weight has been flucuating due to not pooping for a few days. It hasn’t gotten over 115 though which means i’m not over 10 lbs post comp weight! Am I comparing again??? YES! It keeps me sane. I know it’s not good but for me it must be done. I know prepping for a show shouldn’t have to be grueling so i’m not going to make it be. I don’t have TONS of weight to lose this time and that’s a relief. I would rather skip out on goodies than do 2 hours of treadmill that’s for sure.
It seems each show has gotten easier to handle. There is less anxiety. The first I followed everything to the T! The second time around I tried, I had just got back from that cruise and dang I ate WAY too much. The third time I was fluffier but not too bad. I really cleaned it up at 7 weeks out and the weight dropped. Then at 4 weeks out the double cardios really helped. Which leaves me here. I’m 113 and I KNOW I can drop 8 lbs in 2 weeks now…not that I want too 😉 Again you can tell me I shouldn’t think like this but my brain is always running, figuring the numbers on the scale which don’t mean a thing. I’ve gotten over an ED and this is still my way of controlling myself. At least i’m eating now 🙂
We have a Kohl’s right down the road from where I work now. This is NOT a good situation for me. It just opened yesterday and I was there then and today HA! I NEED new undies though and all my sweaters are too big so I bought some of those too. Not to mention all my pants are HUGE! This is MY time though and I like being small and I WILL NOT GET OVER 120 again!!! Goal is 115 but dangit i’m eating good during the holidays 😉
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