I have been an emotional mess lately! AAAHHHGGGGG!!!! I’m not sure what is wrong with me. One day i’m on top of the world the other in HELL. Yesterday I cried thinking about working out. All day long all I wanted to do was cry. I’m reading a book on androgen disease. There was a sentence that stuck out in my mind….Has your body forgotten it’s female? YES! I haven’t had a period in 8 months! It also talks how many women think they are healthy because their diet is good and they exercise but if you don’t have a period that IS a VERY important sign that your health isn’t good….sigh. Well here’s my diagnosis.
It looks as if I won’t be competing in May. Tony and I had a long conversation yesterday and I think i’ve made my decision. I’m not sure what’s wrong with my body but it’s NOT cooperating. I’m okay with that. I know i’m under stress with the job loss etc…and competing isn’t my life. I just hate to throw out that OCB card and not get another use out of it LOL!
We’re suppose to get better at each show too. I would NOT be leaner than I was in Novemeber. I have to keep that in mind. I think i’m just a later in the year competitor and there is nothing wrong with that 🙂 Until I can get my weight under control I don’t need to worry about comps. I’m not at all disappointed with my physique right now it’s just less than 4 weeks is NOT going to cut it. Sure there are hoops I could jump through but I am NOT willing to screw my body up anymore than it already is. Tony has cut my cardio in half and we’re going to make ME happy. This prep has become a burden and no fun and when that happens what’s the point?
I’m sure tomorrow i’ll be all rainbows and butterflies 🙂
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