Shut up stupid brain!

I’m going to a Super Bowl party tonight.  I’m suppose to enjoy myself.  I’m suppose to support my husband and share the excitement with him.  Why am I dreading it?  Why can’t I be normal anymore?  I used to go out all of the time.  I used to party all the time.  I know you change as you get older but you’re still suppose to want to have fun.  I KNOW why i’m dreading it.  It’s not being in control of my food.  Sure I could take my stuff but really?  I’m not in competition prep or anything ridiculous that gives me an excuse not to enjoy some good snackin.  I know when I get there I WILL enjoy myself, I WILL eat the veggie tray and I WILL be glad I made Mike happy for doing something with him and his friends.  I’ve always had fun the past years and this one will be no different.  Sarah, Mike’s friend’s wife is an excellent cook.  This isn’t your typical order pizza and eat doritos party. 


Okay I got that off my chest…


I did make some Chocolate Chip cookies!

  • 3/4 cup of oats
  • 3 egg whites
  • 1 scoop of whey powder(I used muscle guage nutrition cinnamon roll)
  • 1/4 cup water 
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp vanilla extract
  • chocolate chips

Mix ingredients, make as many cookies as you want, bake 375 for 7 mins…YUMBALLS!  Mike tried one.  He said they were hard to swallow LOL!  Easy to say when you can eat 12 real cookies and lose a lb.  I’ll choke ’em down somehow.







  1. Girl, go enjoy that party!! Don’t worry about food. Life is more than just weight and food!
    ❤ jess

  2. I love and hate superbowl parties… Love the food… But my body doesn’t 😦 You can do it girl! Sorry about the cookies…

  3. I sooo can relate to what you mean about worrying about the snacks/food/enjoying yourself at the party. I did my first figure comp this past July, and even though I’m not prepping for a show anytime soon, I still struggle with food-related events.

    Hang in there, and I hope you are able to have fun and relax a bit! Nothing wrong with wanting a bit of control, at least you’re honest about it and can say it out loud! haha One day at a time…

  4. One thing I really love about you April is your HONESTY 🙂

    Those cookies sound good – I’m going to have to try them sometime! P.S. do you have all your recipes collected somewhere? I know there was some protein powder recipe you had at one point and now I can’t find it!

    • I put some of them on my yummies tab up top.


  6. fitlizzio

    i feel ya! i’m exxactly the same way! but ya know what? whenever i start wishing i was normal, i’m glad i’m not. Because normal sucks!! :):) go eat the food at the party chica!!!!

  7. Yeah, I’ve been working on that social thing and worrying about controlling my food. I think I’m getting better?

    Hope you enjoy the party!!

  8. You will have a blast!

  9. I’d be dreading the party because I hate sports, but when I have had friends that loved sports I would go with them JUST for the food. LOL It’s all about the food–especially if there are nachos!

  10. I feel you on the “supposed to be excited” thing. I totally feel like that sometimes and I really really really just have to tell myself that it IS OKAY. Have a few pieces of the “bad” stuff but eat yourself full of the good stuff you don’t have any more room for the bad stuff. Haha.

    You’re right, you’re not in competition mode so just live your life. I recently had to tell myself/realize that I don’t need a celebrity body because 1) it’s not a realistic lifestyle to maintain and most importantly…2) why should I even try to look like a celebrity. i don’t get paid for it like they do. I need to just enjoy myself and you do too. Hope you had fun girl!

  11. hayleycepeda

    Thank you so much for your comment on my blog…MUCH appreciated!! 🙂

    I wish I could offer some really good advice, but I still struggle with exactly the same thing. I’m still working on finding a balance and not going with the all-or-nothing extreme. I still think dieting all these years has messed with my head and the guilt trips me up so that as soon as I eat something I feel like, “screw it” but I DO have faith and hope that we will BOTH get to a really good place with food someday!

  12. hayleycepeda

    OOOOOH and THANK YOU SO MUCH for the link to my blog and the congrats!!! You have seriously made my day! 🙂

  13. hope you enjoyed the party! don’t even think about the food! just enjoy and have fun socializing!

  14. I hope you enjoyed the party. I know the food part is hard but hopefully you were able to still enjoy yourself. Even though the Colts lost….BOO!!!! You know I am devestated! 😦

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